Family Caused the Breakup? I Just Want Answers…(Real Story)

Hi Coach,

I just recently broke up with my ex of three years. I’m 27 and he’s 28. It was a solid relationship—he’d had some issues during his childhood that held him back from serious relationships, and by the time I met him he’d already done years of therapy. I believed those issues were behind him. We got along really well because we share similar interests. We both love sailing and anything that involves the sea.

Once COVID hit and the lockdowns began, we couldn’t get out to do those activities anymore. Being stuck indoors together created real friction. About a month ago he suddenly told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. It was shocking—I didn’t see it coming. I cried and asked him why, but he stonewalled me. That was out of character for him; he’s not super outgoing, but he’s always spoken up about his feelings during our relationship. I was completely blindsided.

He moved out immediately and went to another state to stay with his mother, who told him she needed him. He and his mother have had a strained relationship for years, but apparently they’ve patched things up recently. Now I’m wondering if his mother manipulated him into moving in with her so she could get some financial help. She was never kind to me and never made any effort to welcome me. In fact, she once told him that I wasn’t good enough for him, and he actually told me that. So now I’m left wondering if that’s what drove him away.

It’s only been three weeks, but I really want to call him and get to the bottom of this. I want answers. Is it fair for me to call and ask? I’ve never experienced anything like this in a relationship. I just want to know: Did I do or say something wrong? What’s your take?